I can’t be Coco’d right now

Hi I’m in the middle of Starbucks wearing all black like pretending I’m a student or like a writer or something, and like every two minutes I take a sip of the coffee I don’t really like and just…wow it’s January still?

January is making me not want to leave my house, and I think it’s severely impacting my self-esteem cells so I made myself come to this Starbucks so I felt part of a community.

Before I started typing this post, I was actually journaling about how I think chemo killed my self-esteem cells since I was 17 and my id and brain were still developing and fast growing (see? Like how chemo kills all fast-growing cells?)

And like how sad is that even?

“Dear Diary, I think chemo killed my self-esteem cells.”

You know what’s sadder?

I don’t even have a diary, I started one so I could write that.

And I’m afraid to go home because if my fiance isn’t still watching soccer, I think he’s gonna make me watch Encanto, and January has just got me in a head space where I can’t do emotional Disney Pixar that’s going to wreck me.

I have been avoiding Encanto all month because I feel like I’m gonna get Coco’d, and I can’t be Coco’d in January.

I refuse to be Coco’d in January.

There’s not much else I have to share today, I just knew if I was trying not to be Coco’d in January, there are probably others, and if you’ve been Coco’d in January or you’re also still trying not to be Coco’d in January, just know that I see you, I feel you, and if we get Coco’d together, so be it, it’s gotta be February soon, right?

GET OUTTA HERE COCO!